13 Honest Tips on How to Be a Good Mother

Becoming a mother is one of the most rewarding experiences a woman can have in life. It’s also one of the most challenging. As a young mom, I was definitely nervous about becoming a mother. I wanted to have a peaceful home environment for my family but didn’t know how I was going to be able to juggle working, finishing college, and raising a family.

There is so much noise in the world today that instructs us on how to live our lives correctly according to experts, and I just didn’t feel like I knew enough to be a good mom. However, after being a mother for many years now, I can say that if you master a few specific areas in your motherhood and life you will feel confident in no time.

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In this blog post, we will discuss thirteen honest tips I have learned myself throughout my time as a mom. We will also discuss the importance of selflessness, communication, playtime, and taking care of yourself.

Being a good mother is not easy, but it’s definitely worth it when you get to experience those moments of spending quality time with your family, and the unconditional love that goes along with having a tiny human to raise.

How can I become a good mother?

Below is a list of the 13 honest tips for becoming an awesome mom.

1) Be Selfless

Being a good mother means choosing between what you want and what your family needs. There is no easy answer to learning how to become selfless, but I can give you some great examples of ways you can be selfless as a mom that will make both you and your family members feel loved and happy.

Waking up in the early hours to feed and rock your baby back to sleep.
Providing nutritious food for your kids when you are busy and don’t feel like cooking.
Reading books on child development or learning how to understand what your kids are going through.
Understanding that the little person you’ve created is making mistakes and learning to communicate, and giving them room to fail without being shamed or scolded.
Getting out of bed multiple times to put your young toddler back into their bed for the night without losing your temper.

All of these are just little examples of your being a good mother, though it is a wonderful job, it takes great sacrifice. The best thing you can do is accept that your kids will need and rely on you for almost everything as they grow up, and that will require you to make sacrifices along the way.

2) Love Them Unconditionally

One of the most beautiful things in this world is the way children unconditionally love their mothers. Parents often worry if their new child has a connection with them, and you should know that they do (or will). Even if you make mistakes constantly, your child will see you as a great mom and will want to be with you all the time so they can learn from you.

However, sometimes we tend to make our children feel like they need to earn our love and attention by behaving the way we want or having the same interests as us. The best thing you can do to help your child build their self-esteem, and create their own identity, is to love them no matter who they turn out to be.

If you love your child even when they are going through rebellious phases or making decisions you don’t prefer, they will feel that unconditional love and it will create a bond that can never be broken between you and your children.

3) Lead by Example

If you are worried about raising an actual human being and somehow turning them into well-adjusted adults, then consider what parenting actually is. You are just living your life, with a little version of yourself watching you and spending time with you.

Whether you realize it or not, your child will begin to talk the way you do and think the way you do. If you intentionally lead by example for your kids at an early age, they will grow up with a good role model and their behavior will be modeled on the way you choose to lead them.

4) Communicate with Your Children

Good communication is the basis of good relationships, and your relationship with your child is no exception. You need to be able to communicate with your kids so they feel comfortable talking to you about their day, their thoughts, and their feelings.

In order to have a good relationship with your children, you should:

Make sure they know they can come to you with anything that’s on their mind
Be patient when they’re trying to explain something to you
Take a few deep breaths before responding when you are angry
Avoid talking down to them or making them feel like they’re not worth your time
Try to see things from their perspective
Listen more than you talk
Ask questions that encourage them to keep talking
Be interested in what they’re saying
Avoid interrupting them
Always apologize to them when you make mistakes

By following these examples you can take yourself one step closer to your goal of being a good mother. Good moms do still make mistakes, it is impossible to be perfect, so if you can want to be a better mother, you can do that by apologizing and communicating with your children in a healthy way.

5) Play Games and Give Them Your Undivided Attention

Quality time and being playful is a key part of being a good mom for your kids. Your children crave attention from you and the more time you are able to give them to create happy memories with you, the more self-confidence they will have as they are growing up.

One thing you can do is schedule a set time every day to spend 15-30 minutes doing something your child loves to do. Make sure to put your devices on airplane mode and in another room before you start so there is actually 100% attention on the fun and play.

Your kids love to see you light up and show your funny side, spend time pretending to be a princess at tea time or a pirate on a ship at sea. This is actually the most important thing you can do to help build your child’s creativity and help your children learn to use their imagination. Plus, it’s really fun too!

6) Teach Your Kids

Good moms know that good behavior from kids isn’t about luck and building a strong bond with your child isn’t about giving them everything they ask for. If you want a child with good behavior and respect for you, then you will need to be their teacher.

Children don’t know everything, they are learning how to make good sense of the world around them, and live life on their own terms. Parents can help their children best by being a guiding light and teacher to their children, even if it means giving them discipline in a loving way.

Your children will have their share of friends who “know everything” and they may argue with you as they become more independent, but if you set a foundation for them as children that you are a knowledgeable teacher and that you are a good parent, they will ultimately trust your opinions as they grow up and come to you for advice even as adults.

7) Care for Your Children

Being the best mom isn’t about buying your kids the best of everything, or making them work hard in school, or even putting them into every sport available. It’s about caring for your kids when they are hurting. When your child comes home from a long, bad day at school and they want to discuss what happened, it’s best to just listen.

Support your children by listening, and giving them an opportunity to talk through and express their emotions, even if they aren’t the best at expressing frustration. Then, try taking them out for a fun day or doing something with them that will help them forget about their problems instead of focusing on homework or fixing the issue for them, just support them.

Caring for your child is more than just providing food, shelter, and medicine when they are sick. It is about listening to them when they are upset, and helping them when they fall down. Let them know that everyone makes mistakes, and teach them how to forgive others and themselves.

8) Be a Loving Spouse

As parents, we are often not just moms, but also wives. But what does it take to be a loving spouse and why does this make you a better mother? Well, if you want your kids to have happy memories with you and your husband as a family, then you do need to remember to take care of your relationship with your husband as well.

To your spouse, you are the only person who can give them romantic love, attention, and the care that only a wife can give. So it is important to remember to take time to nurture and protect your marriage.

Your children will grow up and become well-adjusted adults, but your husband will always be by your side throughout the rest of your life. So it is important to support and respect your marriage and don’t let the moment in time of being a parent distract you from the importance of that.

9) Take Time to De-Stress

Being a good mom and being a happy mom are two different things entirely. If you want to bring more happiness into your parenting style then you will need to find ways to escape the symptoms of stress and fatigue.

Some great ideas for ways you can cleanse yourself of life-related stress include:

Get some fresh air outside on a walk or bike ride
Make some new friends and go out with them once in a while
Create a relaxing self-care routine at night for unwinding
Stop trying to be a perfect mom
Find a babysitter and go shopping, dining, or see a movie alone
Vent to your husband (be sure to tell him to just listen and not give any advice first so he understands you are just needing to let off stress, not argue about who took out the trash last week)

Once you find what works for you, try to include it into a routine, just make sure you are de-stressing in a healthy way. There are a lot of stress relievers that can quickly become addictions if we don’t keep ourselves in check.

10) Live a Healthy Lifestyle

Once you have mastered these main steps to becoming a good mom, you can begin to look at what ways you can improve yourself that will pour over into your kid’s lives and make them better people too. For example, if you want to get more exercise you can start taking a walk with your kids every day after dinner or do yoga with them in the morning.

There are countless ideas and tips for living a healthy lifestyle today, but mainly it involves doing something every day that nourishes you, challenges you, and teaches you. This could include reading books, taking classes, joining a gym, or changing your diet.

Even if you only choose to improve one area at a time or overhaul your lifestyle, your kids will see the change and likely jump on board with you. Remember it is never too late to start focusing on your health and making a healthy lifestyle a priority, your kids will respect you for it and it will encourage them to live life making healthy choices too.

11) Throw out Perfection

Being a great mother doesn’t mean you are perfect all the time and never slip up and make a mistake. In fact, if your kids see you as this perfect human who never misses a Monday then they will likely struggle with their own mistakes and feel out of touch with you.

The pressure of perfection is not a healthy habit to have for yourself or for your kids. Kids and teenagers are supposed to be able to feel comfortable and safe around their family members, and if there is no room for imperfection then kids will likely fall into the trap of lashing out or rebelling against that unattainable standard.

That is why it is so important to be a “good enough mom” and just do your personal best. If you try pursuing perfection and shatter when you fail, then your kids will have an unhealthy outlook on taking risks and become fearful of failure.

So consider doing things you are bad at, and when you embarrass yourself be quick to laugh it off and move on. Remember you are just a parent and you don’t have to live like a celebrity for your children to love and respect you.

12) Stop Comparing Yourself to Other People

Being a good mom does not mean being like “—” super mom, fill in the blank for yourself. Every person has individual skills and faults, and if other moms you know are really good a knitting but you aren’t, that’s okay.

Comparing yourself to other moms and your friends is an easy way to waste time trying to turn yourself into something you aren’t meant to be. So instead, consider embracing something you are really good at and strengthening skills that only you have.

13) Push Pause on Worry, Fear, and Control

If you want to become a better mom, you can consider working on the three most common joy-stealers in the life of a mom, worry, fear, and the need to control everything. Believe it or not, your fears are not coming from within you, they are an attack on your mind and distract you from living a happy life.

If you really look at the things you are worried about, maybe even write them down. Then throw that paper away and write the exact opposite down and read it aloud every time you feel the need to handle a situation you really have no control over.

FAQ

What personality traits do good mothers have?

Though not every good mom is the same some of the personality traits that good moms have are patience, empathy, kindness, and a strong work ethic. They also tend to be good at multitasking, have a lot of energy, and be able to think on their feet. Good mothers also tend to be good at communicating with their children and setting boundaries for the whole family.

Is it too late for me to become a good mother?

No, it is never too late to become a better mother. You can always work on improving your skills and developing new ones. Even if you only choose to improve one area at a time or overhaul your lifestyle, your kids will see the change and likely jump on board with you.

How do I know if I am a good mother?

One way to tell if you are a good mom is how your kids feel around you. If they feel comfortable and safe then that is a good sign. Another way to tell if you are a good mom is how well you handle stress and difficult situations. Good moms tend to be able to think on their feet and keep a level head even when

What is positive parenting?

Positive parenting is a parenting style that focuses on the positive aspects of a child’s actions rather than punishing them for negative behaviors. Positive parenting also emphasizes developing a strong relationship with your child based on trust and respect.

How do I become a more patient mother?

If you want to become a more patient mother, there are several things you can do. One is to try and understand where your child is coming from and see things from their perspective. Another is to take a step back and count to ten before reacting to a situation. You can also try deep breathing exercises or meditation to help you relax in difficult situations. Lastly, it is important to remember that kids are not perfect and they need your support and love to become strong-minded adults.

What is a “good enough mom”?

A good enough mom is a term coined by Dr. D.W. Winnicott and it refers to a mother who is good enough at meeting her child’s needs. This term is often used in contrast to the idea of the “perfect mother” which is an impossible standard to live up to. Not being a perfect mom doesn’t make you wrong, it makes you a human being and parent, all you can do is try your best and learn from your mistakes.

What should I focus on as a new mom?

As a new mom, you should focus on taking care of yourself and your baby. This includes getting enough rest, eating healthy foods, and staying active. You should also focus on bonding with your baby and developing a routine that works for both of you. Lastly, don’t forget to have a good support system around you for helping you through this new season of motherhood.

What should I do if I have anxiety about becoming a mom?

If you feel you are experiencing symptoms of anxiety and extreme stress you should consult with a licensed professional counselor. If you don’t feel like you need professional help, there are still things you can do to manage your anxiety. Try deep breathing exercises, relaxation techniques, and self-care practices like getting enough sleep and exercise. You can also read books or talk to other moms about your anxiety.

I am a single mom, how can I be a good mother?

There is no one right answer to this question since every situation is different. However, some things you can do as a single mom to be a good mother are to focus on creating a supportive network, being organized, and setting realistic expectations. You should also make time for yourself and your own self-care. Lastly, remember that it is okay to ask for help!

Wrap Up

Becoming a good mother takes time, effort, and practice. But it is so worth it when you see your children happy and thriving because of the care and love you have put into them. No matter what your situation is, it is possible to be a good mother. Just remember to be patient with yourself, focus on your child’s needs, and be willing to ask for help when you need it. And don’t forget to enjoy the ride! parenthood is full of ups and downs but it is one of the most rewarding experiences you will ever have. Thanks for reading! I hope this was helpful to you.